Postseason Fanual 2.0: Reds Edition

Alright, Reds fans, I’ve decided to bring you the 2nd Edition of the Fan Manual (or “Fanual” as I like to call it) in honor of tomorrow night’s game between the Cincinnati Reds and San Francisco Giants:

#1 – Dress accordingly.
It is going to be one of those weird Cincinnati weather days where, during the day, it will be warm in the sun and cool in the shade. No need to bundle up like it’s winter, but I don’t think t-shirt and flip flops are appropriate either. If you’re unsure about how warmly to dress, consider a Beer or Liquor Coat, as either will solve most problems.

Bengals garb, Brett Favre jerseys, and any other non-related sports team or organization paraphernalia need not apply. This may seem obvious, but as always, you can expect to see the sporadic jackwagon who is wearing a Cubs shirt. And to that guy I say, “Hey buddy, your team isn’t here for a reason.”

#2 – Bring brooms with caution.
We should be cautious for two reasons: Firstly, I’m on the fence about this whole idea. The superstitious part of me thinks that this is a total jinx, but I’m not going to fault anyone who is feeling spirited enough to want to actually lug a broom around all night—someone who obviously will not be holding adult beverages all game. Which brings me to second-of-ly: if brooms are brought and drinks are being consumed, someone may lose an eye. Don’t be a statistic.

If you aren’t into the broom thing, @DallasLatos likes to offer this alternative.

#3 – Please refrain from doing the wave.
This point does not require much elaboration. It’s a pretty lame move and we’ve moved beyond being lame in the postseason.

That said…

#4 – …keep the WOOOOing alive.
This sensation is bizarre, yet unbelievably awesome, and somehow So Cincinnati (but not like this horrible commercial). And I have no qualms with keeping this up throughout the playoffs.

Reds blog Red Reporter even got an exclusive interview with the revolutionary who apparently started this craze, which you can listen to here.

#5 – Pace yourselves.
Being that the game is taking place at the unbelievably strange time of 5:37pm, many of us will be taking off work a bit early. That means day drinks. Which also means game drinks. Which will most likely be followed by post-game drinks. That’s a lot of drinks, folks, so plan accordingly. And be responsible. (Unless you look forward to telling your future spawn that he/she was conceived the night the Reds took the NLDS in three games back in 2012—when you walked uphill both ways in the snow to GABP.)

Contrary to 2010, the Reds are in a much different position heading into game three of the NLDS. It seems they’re much more prepared; more experienced. And since they are so well prepared, it is only necessary that we follow suit. And that we provide an unbeatable atmosphere, as well as remain loud as shit for the entire game.

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3 Comments on “Postseason Fanual 2.0: Reds Edition”

  1. 9 October 2012 at 2:25 pm #

    Wooing is the worst. Worse than The Wave because people eventually lose interest.

  2. kylefalhaber
    9 October 2012 at 6:09 pm #

    What is your stance on Bruce calls?

    • Pop Culture Broad
      9 October 2012 at 6:16 pm #

      They are not only welcomed, they are expected. Especially when I suspect people will be in the stands who give the “Loudest Bruce Cheers Known to Man”

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